Like so many other women I know, I understand firsthand what it’s like to take care of everybody else & neglect our own self care over periods of time.
We pour, pour & then pour some more into everything & everyone we love & care about, & then have the audacity to be upset & not understand why we are not showing up in our best lights (if barely at all). Can anybody else relate to that, or is that just me?
So, I must give FULL disclosure to all of the Be Well community before you all read another word…
When Carmen & I connected about this amazing opportunity—if I am being completely honest about it—I struggled to write about a few things I'm about to share now with you all. I "tried" very hard to talk myself out of this several times; I am literally praying about this as I type; even now, in this very moment while attending a conference, questioning if I am making the right decision to share this part of MY story. As beautiful as I know this ENTIRE issue is prepped to be by the time it comes into fruition, this past year of my life has not been so "pretty" at all; but, I must admit- in the midst of taking care of the rest of the world -I stopped watering my own grass that is, indeed, very green.
So before I share more or talk myself out of doing this…let be 100 % with you all.
Sis, life handed me a whole lot of lemons over this past year, & quite frankly I found myself in a very dark place in my life. I could not shake it for a while. I could not understand it, nor explain to anyone who loved & cared about me during that season of my life. I had NO fight left in me for anything else—at all—during this time.
The sister that wakes up everyday to motivate the masses;
the woman who puts up the "good fight" for her family, friends, clients, animals, birds, crickets, hell even a rock at times lol-
I was dead beat— tired, both mentally & spiritually, far more than I ever even realized.
My battles with my depression & unhealthy habits began to show up more frequently, last longer & became much more intense. My past trauma that took place over my teenage years were literally haunting me down & were on my heels in the most horrible of ways. For the first time, I couldn’t figure out what was happening to me.
The storms in my life kept showing up & my emotions were all over the place. Although I was trying really hard to mentally overcome & break through so many things that occurred over my life, there were a few situations that were literally sucking the life out of me. The hard parts of my past began to “hold me hostage”.
I found myself so disappointed about so many things, but more than anything else, I was disappointed with MYSELF. I started to “unsee “ all of the good that already existed in me & my family’s world, and I honestly didn’t know why this was all happening, NOW! My family was doing better than good at that time, but my anxiety, worrying, and all of this old stuff that still hurts like hell (that I thought I handled years ago) was now getting the best of me. It was UGLY. I found myself exhausted & I was completely on “E”!
Finally, I decided with the support of my loved ones to seek professional help, & through the process I gained Godly wisdom along the way from the people I trusted to help me do this work.
I recall waking up one morning & this profound voice within me finally understood & accepted that:
No one but God & me alone are coming to save ME...and that is where, in my brokenness, I discovered my REAL superpowers!!!
I was hurting those I love & cherish the most unintentionally, & man, was that so HARD on my husband, our children, & some of the people who I know love me to my core. I thank God they didn’t throw in the towel on me, even when, at times, I willingly threw it in on myself!
I was experiencing one too many hard situations with my family & friends—more often than usual. I discovered later on (for a while), that I was operating out of a place of pain.
I was dying inside. And I don’t mean that haphazardly.
This sister needed healing for her soul. I let go & gave it ALL to God in order for me to keep going, gain clarity, & make peace with my past.
Deciding to heal is now the greatest of my SUPERPOWERS because that is directly connected to my greatest WHY & my purpose—which is our family & our legacy.
In order to create the best lives for them, I first had to commit to loving myself more, embracing all of my flaws & shortcomings, & I had to own all of my stuff! I had to do my work &, my God, that was A LOT, to say the least.
But, God! He stepped right on in, put the light back into my path to guide and redirect me. He blessed me with the time, grace & the space I needed (right in our own backyard) to really do this during my journey to self discovery. I sat & dealt with the hard stuff, & in return, it restored my soul. He spoke LIFE back into me & confirmed to one of his dearest daughters that HE has so much more for me & you to do, indeed.
What I want to impress upon each & every one of you laying eyes on this summer issue is to get still for a moment to position yourself in a place by creating a space that allows you all the permission you will ever need to evolve and attend to EVERYTHING God has assigned you to do. Get excited again by ONLY doing things that speak to your heart, soul, and purpose and watch while it fuels every bone in your bodies.
This summer's Be Well Magazine 2022 issue goes out to every woman who knows what it's like to be the "super shero" for everyone else. To every reader who is down & out & just tired, read on if you are sick of suffering in silence.
Do you ever feel like life is just beating you down no matter how hard you try to get back up?
Well, this issue is especially for YOU. To every little girl who dreamed of growing up to have "BIG GIRL" plans-then BOOM! Life happened. This is your friendly reminder to KNOW it's never too late to start again. You can still live out EVERY one of your heart’s greatest desires that fulfill your destiny.
It's simply OUR time, sisters, to refresh, restructure, renew our minds, bodies & souls, and make up our MINDS to keep GLOWING!!!
So from our front steps to your doorsteps, I hope & pray you heal, evolve, & create every space in your Universe that your heart desires--that you do, indeed, deserve.
Go forward my sister…we need you!